By David H. Feldman, The Education Group
This August 2022 Time magazine cover featured a photo of tennis champion Serena Williams with the simple phrase, “The Greatest.” A powerful image with a strong message that conveyed the unmistakable conclusion — Ms. Williams is at the top of her field, and likely the best in the history of the profession.
As Time celebrated the star’s success, a national news station ran an interview with another tennis pro, a woman named Rennae Stubbs. Ms. Stubbs was chosen by Serena to be her US Open coach. A former rival of “The Greatest” in the game was now partnering with her to build the critical strategy Serena would use as she approached her final US Open championship run.
Serena William’s success is the story of endless hours of hard work, she told one reporter; she is intentional in her preparation. “Luck has nothing to do with it, I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come.” There is no question that Serena Williams has the physical gifts necessary to be a champion, but there are many professionals in many fields who are talented and never achieve the title, “The Greatest.” What elevated her to the top of her field was an unyielding work ethic, a desire to grow, and the understanding that success isn’t a journey traveled alone.
The road to success is filled with moments of anxiety and a fear of failure. Williams shared that she feels “insanely nervous” before matches. But the metaphor she uses to get through is a bottle, and as soon as she walks onto the court, “I put those nerves in it and toss it away, readying my mind for what’s ahead. The key is not to dismiss fear or pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s to channel it in the right ways and know when it’s time to fall back on our preparation.”
Being prepared shapes Serena’s next steps, but how does that ability to compartmentalize nervous energy work? How does a person find the mindfulness, and the motivation to take one’s talent to that focused next level? Most of all, how do we defeat the gremlin that lives inside each of us — that nagging inner voice highlighting our fear of failure? Stop for a moment and consider the key intervention central to Serena Williams’ preparation: “The Greatest” actually chose to travel her path with a guide, she works with a coach and finds meaningful value in the collaboration.
Does this strike you as odd? After all, by definition, doesn’t greatness mean you are without equal, that you are at the height of your profession? There exists a notion that those at the pinnacle of their “game” have all the answers and are a self-contained source of strategy and direction. Indeed, I often hear leaders who have worked tirelessly to achieve great success, express worry, and concern over hiring a coach. As though partnering with a professional guide is a sign of weakness. What will my board think? Will my team think I’m less capable if I need the support of an outside resource? I was hired because I know my stuff, why would I need a coach? — I’ve got this!
Whether it is naïveté or simply hubris, the job of head of school can frequently become a self-imposed sentence of solitude. Having been selected through a rigorous process, none of us wants to admit weakness or that we are somehow in need of external guidance. Yet heads are human, and all too often find themselves alone without the key supports that brought them to the lofty position they now hold.
Well-meaning Board Chairs and Head Support Committees will regularly ask, “what do you need?” or “how can we help?” But sadly, it is the rare head who has a response or who will candidly show vulnerability to either of these sources of care. They are the folks who chose you, who believe in you, and who think you have the answers to move the leadership needle forward. They are the community members who you want singing your praises and reaffirming your selection. So, what happens next? The isolation can become deeper and the struggle more real. The numbers in recent years don’t lie, the tenure of heads is shrinking and the ability of first- and second-year heads to reach that next contract is becoming a greater challenge.
Headship is filled with 100s of daily decisions, success is highlighted by good processes, and depends on building strong relationships. How do you do any of this if you are in isolation and trying to guide a community without honest feedback or without a person with whom to share your honest thoughts, ideas, and fears? How do you grow when the gremlin in your head starts to take control? How do heads respond, like Serena, and put anxiety in a bottle they can cast aside?
Coaching is a gift. It is the opportunity to have a sounding board, that without judgment gives you the space to think and process out loud. Heads learn very quickly that the brainstorming sessions earlier in their careers, where they shared ideas with colleagues, are no longer a productive path once you sit in the big chair. People around you want to know what steps to take next, processing out loud is not seen as thinking, it is seen as direction; or worse yet, indecisiveness. Each of us needs a place to safely process our ideas, and to think through the if/then moments before we make a decision. A coach provides that space with an ear that actively listens.
Coaching is not mentoring — you are not relying on someone else’s experiences to shape your direction. It is not therapy — you are not trying to resolve past issues. It is not working with a consultant where someone gives you a plan or process and leaves you to implement the work. A coach is a partner, someone there to facilitate your growth and provide a place to think and process together; a forum where you choose what happens next. It is work that maximizes professional, and sometimes personal, potential. Good coaching is about setting measurable goals that are important to you. It is about shifting your energy toward greater creativity and stronger relationships. Working with a coach is not weakness or failure – it is work that is focused on growth and a greater understanding of what is possible.
As educators, we are familiar with meetings where we discuss the needs of our students. In these sessions we often catch ourselves describing a child who is having difficulty through the lens of a deficit model. We focus on the areas of weakness and the need for remediation. It is only when we flip the paradigm and engage one another in a strength-based review of the individual that our planning takes a clearer, more productive tone and our engagement with the student evolves toward genuine growth.
Coaching is a strength-based model. Yes, you may choose to work with a coach to work through particular challenges. But the truth is strong successful leaders learn more about themselves and grow when they work on personal growth with a mindset focused on problem-solving. Coaching is professional development, it is not about “fixing” a person because there is a break — it is about learning, understanding, and shifting to be your better self. And … it is a tool that puts our anxiety gremlins in a bottle so that we can toss them aside when we enter the arena. Coaching is what the greatest do! It is after all how they reached that level of success.